it’s not the tom cruise flick or the guitar hero commercial…

it’s a risky business falling in love with a friend.

i tried once. but everything was not appropriate and too much to handle.

for now, i’m keeping to myself that i’m in love again (am i?) with him.

it’s risky. but time will come that i have to get this out of my chest.

iiling ka na lang sa sarili mo. most of the time you feel like a loser, everything goes wrong, you feel unloved and you feel unworthy.

dati, tasks come from me. i assign things to somebody. now, it’s the other way around. i’m in denial that i’m okay with it. the wheel just turned and i’m at the bottom.

though it’s work related, it hit me hard. he doesn’t want long term relationships more to commitments. fine, you’ll have your time in the future. it may not be me, i dunno but deep down i wish it’s me you’ll end up with, fucker! grrrr!

i don’t even know how to start this post. so that’s what i said. incomprehensible. im torturing myself to insanity.

waaaah!!

i always want to be with you

i wanna see you everyday

i wanna talk to you for hours and days

i always wanna see you laugh and smile

i wanna see you walk your way

i wanna see you get mad

i wanna kiss those lips

i wanna be held by your arms

i wanna hug you tight always

i wanna fall asleep with you

i wanna dance with you

i wanna eat potatoes and cakes with you

i wanna hear the holy mass with you

i wanna be with you every moment

i want you

i don’t know yet if i love you

but i hope that you want me, too

in one word, ang araw na ito ay nakakaloka tipong it may cause brain damage.

dealing with this feeling is harder than i thought. i dunno bakit msyado ako affected. siguro, i feel for them and i think he might have fallen into the wrong hands. revelations were piercing. they are living in already and expecting their first born. oh well, he’s lovestruck and helplessly can’t do anything about it.  I want to attend but just for the sake of his family. they were all pleading. i don’t wanna appear like i’m a primadonna acting so important. it’s so nervewracking. i want to come but along with cjpl. i wanted him to realize that i can also move on too and be happy with someone else like what he did to me. but i feel like a loser at this point. i’m sure cjpl won’t come even if i ask him to. it’s like using someone else to tell everyone that you’re okay. i’m such a loser. i dunno what to do. this is killing me.  i can’t go without cjpl by my side. but it’s unresonable to do such

awww… i thought i forgot what i feel for you already. but it seems that the heart can’t forget. i feel so stupid as always naman feeling this way again. whenever i remember the time when you knew that i’ve fallen for you it sends shivers down my spine. so awkward. someday, i hope that time comes when you realize you feel the same way for me.

but for now, my only confidant is my blog for me not to make the same mistake again… i missed you so much! mwah! =*

lilipas din ang araw na yan. It’s the day that I have to say bye bye forever.

ang araw na magsisimula na mag-isa at wala ng multong mananakot pa. yes? poetic ito.

basta sana lumipas n lang ang araw na yan na wala lang.

parang walang mangyayari… babush pag-ibig! 

ilang buwan na din nung nagsimula ako mag-facebook. i find it sosyal at sleek kesa sa friendster. mas masaya mag-add ng applications. yun nga lang konti pa lang frendships ko, mostly from work. nag-invite naman ako kaya lang ang karamihan dedma pa rin. favorite kong gawin yung outfit factory, dahil can’t afford naman ang lola nyo namag-buy and buy till u die ng mga ka-outfit-an, at least don, kering keri maging fashionista kahit virtual ang gimmick. kaya lang overrated na yung mga surveys/ personality tests na super appearance naman sa tickle.com. pero keri pa din, yung mga interesado na lang ako ang sinasagutan ko.

kaya isang panawagan sa mga facebook accounts jan… add nyo naman akech.

keri? babush!

tama na ang pagpapanggap na sosyal at bongga sa english. tama na ang pagpapaka-konya at nosebleed.

bagong blog. bagong pagtuklas sa pagkatao.

heller na lang sa inyong lahat.

chorva ang buhay. kaya go lang ng go.